Today, a young man with gobs of product in his hair and gallons of cologne on his body boarded the Red Line and promptly splayed himself across four - YES, FOUR - seats of the train. He fixed his gaze on his Metro newspaper for the entire ride, so he wouldn't have to trouble himself should anyone within eight feet of him need a seat.
Such selfishness; no regard for his fellow passengers. But the worst part of all? He was wearing Nantucket Red pants. Who wears those anymore? Well, okay; maybe they still wear them at the yacht club, but come on! You're not even 30 years old! What were you thinking!?
I think he deliberately took up that much space in order to establish a perimeter, so no commuter would obstruct any other commuter's view of his Nantucket Red pants.
Only an artist's rendering can do justice to this heinous breach of commuter etiquette.