I have a confession. I am the real father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, Dannielynn Birkhead von Anhalt Smith-Stern. And I have proof:
The resemblance is uncanny, and Anna Nicole and I did have one unforgettable night of parthenogenesistic (parthenogenetic?) bliss, right around the time of Dannielynn's conception.
I haven't been blogging lately because I've been so busy traveling, providing DNA, obtaining DNA, locking Howard out of the mansion and so on. But, come hell or highwater, I will claim my child!