Commuterrant

Henceforth Known as "Shot in the Head"

Poor Marc Cohn.  Aside from the 2 or 3 times "Walking in Memphis" is played on the radio each year, he hasn't gotten much PR or airplay over the last 15 years. Then he gets shot in the head, and he's everywhere. He's gotten more airtime for getting shot in the head than he did for marrying Elizabeth Vargas (TV reporter for 20/20) several years ago. Or even for having a hit song in the early 1990s.

A couple of weeks ago, I was flipping through the channels, and I came across Larry King interviewing Marc Cohn on CNN. I never watch Larry King, since he's so... well, awful. However, I had to watch this awkward train wreck of an interview.

• "How did it feel to get shot in the head?"
• "What were you thinking about when you got shot in the head?"
• "Where were you when Kennedy was shot in the head?"
• "Are you going to write a song now about getting shot in the head? Will you pretend it happened in Memphis?"

Throughout the interview, King referred to his guest as "Marc Cohn, shot in the head" and ended the interview by saying, oddly, "Congratulations." Congratulations!? For being shot in the head?

A week or so later, E. and I were watching the US Open when the camera focused on a couple of spectators - Marc Cohn and his wife. The commentary went something like this:
ANNOUNCER 1: "Now there's Marc COH-EN...singer-songwriter."
ANNOUNCER 2: "Shot in the head recently, wasn't he?"
ANN. 1: "Yes, shot in the head, in a carjacking...in Colorado."
ANN. 2: "He's recovering nicely...he's here with his wife, Elizabeth Vargas, of 20/20."

The whole thing reminds me of Nancy-Kerrigan's-mother-legally-blind. Back in the early 1990s, every time figure skater Nancy Kerrigan was in a competition, the camera had to cut to a shot of her mother in the stands, with her face pressed up against a portable television so she could see her daughter, since she was, in fact, legally blind. The announcer had to remind us of that anytime Nancy was in the building, in case we had forgotten.

If I were Marc Cohn-shot-in-the-head, I'd be pretty depressed right now. I'm sure he'd rather be known as Marc Cohn-Walking-in-Memphis.

PBS Funding Slashed; Caillou Blamed

In a stunning development, Congress moved to cut PBS' funding by more than 50 percent, placing the  blame squarely on the network's continued airing of the children's animated series, Caillou.

Caillou follows the adventures of an eponymous, immature, complaining little boy, who whines when he is happy and whines when he is sad. He has a strange name and equally strange parents, who seem perpetually cheerful and unfazed by their child's petulant behavior. All episodes of Caillou are accompanied by the grating voice of an elderly female narrator, who is compelled to tell viewers how Caillou is feeling, what Caillou wants, and what pushes Caillou's buttons at every turn.

"It's one thing for PBS to air that show about those maple-sugar lesbians converting Buster Baxter, but continuing to broadcast Caillou, year after year, takes the cake," said Senator Orrin Hatch (R-UT) about the funding cuts. "That kid's voice just grates on me like someone using a carrot peeler on my eyeballs. If we don't act soon, there'll be a generation of whiny brats running the country one day."

Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) had different reasons for voting for the funding cuts. "Caillou's parents let that kid have all the control. They could use a parenting lesson or two from Dr. Dobson. This show sends the wrong message to children and families everywhere, and it's time PBS learned who's really in charge of public television."