For the second time in a week, as the Green Line train I was riding approached Arlington Street, an announcement came over the P.A.:
"Those of you in the third car, exit at the front of the car."
I ask you: how am I supposed to know if I am on the third car or not? My geospatial skills are not that refined, but it did become obvious when the train pulled into the station and I saw only the darkness of the tunnel outside the mid-car exit. It was then that I used my powers of deductive reasoning to determine that, indeed, I was on the dreaded third car.
Do people count the cars before boarding, in case of such situations? Being a Safety Girl, I understand counting the number of seat rows to determine how far you are from the exit row on an airplane, but now I'm expected to know which car I'm on when I ride the T? And how come the Green Line suddenly can't fit into the Arlington Street station? Did it gain weight?
And another thought: can't the MBTA be a little more user-focused in its communications? They always use T-centric lingo that only a seasoned MBTA employee would find meaningful.
I am reminded of the T-car doors that used to carry the message, "These doors do not recycle." That always befuddled me, as I took it as a warning not to use my brute strength to rip the door off of its hinges and tote it back home, where I could gently place it in my bright yellow recycle bin, thereby doing my part to save the planet. But they changed the signage to be a little more clear. I have to double-check this, but I believe they now say, "These doors do not re-open automatically," which is only slightly less vague. I think what they're trying to say is, "If you stick any appendage in these doors while they are closing, you will suffer death and/or dismemberment. You've been warned."
And the driver with the big-ass Green Line train that can't be accomodated by the Arlington Street platform? He should announce, "If the train stops and you see only darkness, you are still in the tunnel. Do not pry open the doors; do not get off of the train. Do not panic. These doors do not recycle. Whether you are on the first car, second car, or third car, it's no matter. Just walk to the front and exit there."
FYI, they're working on the platforms at Arlington and that's why there's not enough room for three cars. They've got at least a-third of the platform blocked off. Normally it could accoomodate at least four cars, I think.
Posted by: John | April 19, 2006 at 01:09 AM
I don't know which Greenline train you're riding but knowing whether you boarded the 1st, 2nd or 3rd car would seem to me to be pretty obvious.
There aren't many 3 car trains, even at rush hour. If you are on one, the loudspeaker announces repeatedly before you enter the station at Arlington that you have to exit by the front door.
Perhaps you're wearing a device that's blasting sound into your ears that makes it impossible for you to hear the information about the exits that is being broadcast at great volume through the train.
Maybe little girl you should wake up, take your earplugs out, pay attention, and stop expecting everybody to take care of you. Your "Mom" isn't here. If you can't live without her, go home.
Posted by: Ninya | April 19, 2006 at 01:55 AM
Whoa ... someone had a bad day.
I do know a gentleman who woke up, thought the train had pulled away from his stop, opened the door, threw his bags out and jumped out of the moving train to the track bed. Actually, the train hadn't reached his stop ...
He sued the city that operated the station because ... I still haven't figured out why. He lost.
Posted by: Bill | April 19, 2006 at 02:11 AM
Does this mean you're working again/still? Or just commuting for the blog? ;-)
Posted by: Karen | April 19, 2006 at 07:53 AM
Who knew a humorous post would elicit so many responses? Karen, I'm still at the current job until about mid-May, so I still have the pleasure of commuting, for blog fodder!
Bill, I'm glad the guy lost, but I hope you weren't representing him!
John, thank you for the information; that's good to know.
Ninya...oh Ninya. Where do I begin?
I. I am not a little girl
II. If there is one loudspeaker for each train, then there is no need to clarify "if you're on the third car." The announcer can simply tell you to exit in the front.
III. Very presumptuous of you to assume anything about my music listening habits on the T. I do not wear headphones on the T. My point is not that I cannot *hear* the information; I can hear the information, but it is ambiguously stated. Perhaps if you understood the nuances of sarcasm, this would be obvious to you.
IV. I have been taking care of myself for the past 25 years. And my mother died 9 years ago, so "going home" is not an option.
V. If you can't understand the concept of this blog (humor and sarcasm), then simply don't read it.
Posted by: Ellen | April 19, 2006 at 09:22 AM
Ellen,
Thank you again for another humorous post. Keep up the good work and ignore the adolescent nastiness.
/g
Posted by: Greg Salyer | April 19, 2006 at 10:38 AM
I don't like you, Ninya.
Posted by: Lee Anne | April 19, 2006 at 07:06 PM
Ninya,
I generally can't make any sense of what those speakers on the T are saying. Since I'm 54 years old and male, and don't carry any listening devices with me on the train, you might find this surprising, but there it is.
Posted by: garym | April 20, 2006 at 03:29 PM
Never mind Ninya, Ellen. Just like she's making assumptions about you without knowing you, I am assuming that she is an angry, bitter person who spends her time looking for things to bitch about.
Posted by: Lisa | April 25, 2006 at 10:52 PM