Lately, my brain has had some space to remember to do
many forgotten things. Like get a mammogram, which I was supposed to do in
October. My doctor’s office had told me I could simply call the radiology
provider and make an appointment. I called the radiology office in April and
they said, “We’re booking for August.” Since I had recently found a lump, and
also had a change in my family history, I wanted an appointment sooner. I told
them this. However, the lump is not a big concern, as I’ve had these before and
they’re usually nothing. They said, “You need to call your doctor and get a
prescription.”
I called my doctor and explained the situation. “Yes,
we’ll fax them something,” they said.
I called the radiology office back later. “We don’t have
anything from your doctor…” I was getting increasingly frustrated and decided
to try the “remain silent” tactic. I said nothing.
“Oh wait; there’s something coming through the fax now.”
She put me on hold, and came back 14 hours later. “Yes, we have the
prescription. We can give you an appointment in August.”
“Wait,” I said. “I was told that before, and thought I
could get something sooner if I got a prescription.”
“No, we’re booking for August.”
“So why did I have to call my doctor?”
“We’re booking for August.”
"What's your favorite color?"
"We're booking for August."
I explained that I had been getting regular mammograms
for years, that I had found a lump and had had a change in family history.
“Did you tell your doctor you have a lump? It doesn’t say
that on the prescription. Your doctor will want you to come in so she can see
you first.”
It must have slipped my mind to mention the lump to the
doctor’s office, as I was so caught up in detailing my frustrations. I called
the doctor’s office back and provided scintillating details about the lump.
They asked me to come in that day.
My doctor saw me, and wrote a new prescription for a
mammogram and ultrasound. I went downstairs to the radiology office. The woman
behind the counter looked at the prescription and said, “We’re booking for
August.”
What?
I said, “I came in to see my doctor so I could get
something sooner! Why did I come in for this?” Suddenly, fourteen employees and
technicians converged upon the front desk, as if they knew I was coming,
remembering the raving madwoman who had called that morning. “No, no…” they all
chanted. “August, August…we’re booking for August.” I had just wasted three
hours of my and my doctor’s time. Why hadn’t they just told me: “No matter what
you do, you will not get an appointment before August. Do not bother getting a
prescription. Do not bother coming in. We’re booking for August…”
I was almost in tears. One woman said, “Let me see if we
can get you in sooner…my schedule is in the back.” I followed her and we looked
at a different, more special schedule. She said, “I can see you June 1st.”
Unfortunately, I’m starting a new job that week and cannot be taking off for
doctor’s appointments. I started to feel like I was being difficult, and resigned myself to an August appointment. I
explained the about the new job and said, “I’ll just come in August,” and she
said, “But we wouldn’t want you to wait that long.” I left.
You wouldn’t want me to wait. You sure have a funny way
of showing it. Early detection and regular self-exams are critical. Know your
body. But don’t try to get an appointment for a mammogram within the next four
months. You’re shit out of luck.
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